MaybeBS News

Mayor Eric Adams

Mass Exodus in Mayor Adams, Administration

—

by

B Loom
in

Mass Exodus in Mayor Adams’ Administration: Deputy Mayors Flee Amid Scandal

“When the ship starts sinking, even the rats are smart enough to jump off.”

“When the ship starts sinking, even the rats are smart enough to jump off.”

In a development that has left New York City’s political scene reeling, four of Mayor Eric Adams’ deputy mayors have tendered their resignations, citing reasons that range from “ethical concerns” to “I didn’t sign up for this circus.”

The departing officials include:

  • First Deputy Mayor Maria Torres-Springer: Rumor has it she’s considering a career in stand-up comedy, inspired by the daily absurdities of City Hall.
  • Deputy Mayor for Operations Meera Joshi: Reportedly left a note saying, “I can’t operate under these conditions.”
  • Deputy Mayor for Health and Human Services Anne Williams-Isom: Sources say she’s now focusing on her own mental health after dealing with the administration’s ailments.
  • Deputy Mayor for Public Safety Chauncey Parker: Allegedly remarked, “The safest move for me is to get out while I still can.”

This mass departure comes hot on the heels of the Justice Department’s eyebrow-raising decision to drop corruption charges against Mayor Adams, a move many are calling the legal equivalent of “Whoops, our bad.” The DOJ’s rationale? They need Adams’ “cooperation” on President Trump’s immigration policies. Because nothing says “trustworthy partner” like someone fresh off a bribery indictment.

City Comptroller Brad Lander didn’t mince words, demanding that Adams present a contingency plan or face possible removal from office. Lander was overheard muttering, “At this point, a Magic 8-Ball would provide more reliable leadership.”

Governor Kathy Hochul, when asked about the situation, responded with a long sigh and a strategically vague, “We’re exploring all options.” Insiders interpret this as political speak for, “Does anyone have Oprah’s number? We need a miracle.”

Meanwhile, Mayor Adams remains defiant, stating, “I am the captain of this ship, and I will not abandon it.” Critics were quick to point out that the Titanic’s captain probably said something similar.

As the administration continues to unravel faster than a cheap sweater, New Yorkers are left wondering: Who’s next in line for the revolving door of City Hall? And more importantly, does anyone have a plan, or are we all just winging it at this point?

In unrelated news, the Staten Island Ferry has seen a surge in applications for captain positions. Coincidence? We think not.

Sources:

Sharing is Caring!