Tag: US
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Trump Gets Carried Away With Tariffs!
Applies Them to North Korea—Forgetting There’s No Trade to Tax “The art of the deal meets the absence of a deal.” In yet another bold economic maneuver, former U.S. President Donald Trump has announced sweeping tariffs on North Korea, a country that, notably, does not actually trade with the United States. Standing at a podium…
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Local Man Declares Himself a Professional Athlete
Local Man Declares Himself a Professional Athlete After Completing One 5K Fun Run “Already considering retirement due to ‘wear and tear’ on his knees.” In a stunning turn of events, local office worker Gary Thompson, 38, has officially declared himself a professional athlete after completing a 5K fun run last weekend. Thompson, who had never…
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Ohio Woman Claims to Be in a ‘Plutonic’ Relationship
Ohio Woman Claims to Be in a ‘Plutonic’ Relationship with Alien Who Prefers Wardrobe Over Socializing “Intergalactic romance or just a case of cosmic confusion?” In what could be the most unusual long-term relationship in modern history, 82-year-old Ohio resident Martha Jenkins has made an astonishing claim: she has been living with an alien for…
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Trump Wants to Buy Greenland
Trump Wants to Buy Greenland, Shocked to Learn It’s More White Than Green—And Has No Golf Courses “The greatest real estate deal in history—unless someone tells him about Antarctica.” In what experts are calling “the boldest real estate move since Louisiana Purchase (but with less planning)”, former U.S. President Donald Trump once again floated the…