Welsh Choir’s Divine Mission to Thailand Turns into John’s Secret Stag Do in Pattaya
Caerphilly’s Most Pious Jet Off on a ‘Faithful’ Adventure, But One Had Other Plans
CAERPHILLY, UK – When avid churchgoer Susan and her choir friends decided to go on a cultural holiday, they took a democratic approach: close their eyes, spin the globe, and jab a pin at their next destination. The result? Thailand.
None of them had ever researched it, looked at flights, or even knew how to spell “Bangkok” properly. But that was all part of the adventure!
However, one choir member, John, had been suspiciously quiet during the planning stage. He knew exactly what Thailand had to offer, and he was about to lead this heavenly choir straight into the depths of sin—also known as Pattaya.
Susan’s ‘Spiritual Awakening’ Hits Soi 6
After a grueling 14-hour flight where Susan led multiple rounds of “Amazing Grace” at 38,000 feet (to the dismay of literally everyone on board), the group finally landed. The plan was to seek out local churches, maybe bless some temples, and bring the power of Welsh hymnals to the Land of Smiles.
But John had other plans.
“This is a divine place,” he reassured them as he led the group onto a neon-lit street where women in miniskirts blew kisses and muscular ‘ladies’ in sequined dresses winked at passing tourists.
Susan, clutching her Bible, gasped, “Are these… monks in disguise?”
John, barely containing his laughter, nodded. “Yes, Susan, very special monks. Their mission is to bring joy.”
Meanwhile, Roger, the group’s bass singer, was busy getting his face powdered by a charming woman named ‘Nong’, who, by all biblical definitions, was definitely not born a woman.
From Holy Water to Happy Hour
As the night unfolded, Susan and her fellow vocalists found themselves in a surreal mix of spirituality and sangria.
Susan ordered a drink called a “Bucket of Sin,” mistakenly thinking it was some kind of Thai holy water ritual. By the third sip, she was telling a bar girl named ‘Apple’ all about how Caerphilly has the best cheese in the world, while Apple politely nodded and upped the drink prices.
At some point, the choir attempted to bless a nightclub. John, now wearing a Hawaiian shirt and surrounded by a group of questionable new friends, encouraged them to sing “Hallelujah” over the pounding bass of “Shots! Shots! Shots!” blaring from the DJ booth.
The Morning After: Divine Hangover
By sunrise, Susan awoke in a hotel room filled with inflatable unicorns, leftover cocktail umbrellas, and a karaoke microphone that she did not recall using. Outside, Roger was learning Muay Thai from a man who could easily be his grandson.
John, sipping a Chang beer at breakfast, grinned. “Well, Susan, did you have a religious experience?”
Susan, clutching her head, muttered, “I think I met an angel named ‘Bambam’ last night.”
Back in Caerphilly, their church priest was still wondering why their WhatsApp group was flooded with selfies of the choir posing with scantily clad performers and a text from Roger that simply read: “I think I got baptized in tequila.”
Moral of the Story?
Never leave John in charge of planning a trip.