Author: B Loom
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E-Scooter Meat Heist, gone wrong!
E-Scooter Meat Heist Ends in Spectacular Flying Tackle by Undercover Cop Tackle by Undercover Cop “You can run from the law, but you can’t out-scoot a flying tackle.” A North London thief discovered the hard way that an e-scooter is not an escape-proof getaway vehicle when a plain-clothes police officer channeled their inner NFL linebacker,…
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Doctors Shock the World:
Doctors Shock the World: The Ultimate Cough Cure Was in Your S’mores All Along! Well Sort Of. “Pharmaceutical companies are sweating as marshmallows make a comeback in the medical field.” If you’ve been hacking up a lung for the past few weeks, convinced that your cough is now a permanent feature of your personality, you’re…
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Elon Musk’s DOGE Digs for Data:
Elon Musk’s DOGE Digs for Data: Social Security Chief Resigns Amid Privacy Tug-of-War Elon Musk’s DOGE Digs for Data: “When tech moguls play government, who needs privacy?” In a move that has left both bureaucrats and late-night comedians scrambling for words, Michelle King, the acting commissioner of the Social Security Administration (SSA), has resigned. Her…
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Man Tries to Smuggle Wife onto Flight!
Man Tries to Smuggle Wife onto Flight as ‘Statue’ in 6-Foot Box – Nearly Pulls It Off “Sir, are you aware that your statue is breathing?” Miami International Airport officials were left in disbelief this week after a man attempting to check in for a flight to Las Vegas presented a six-foot shipping box, confidently…
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Cardiff Airport
Cardiff Airport Chaos as Passenger Attempts to Check in! Cardiff Airport Chaos as Passenger Attempts to Check in! Emotional Support Sheep “Sir, for the last time, your sheep cannot have a window seat.” Cardiff Airport security was thrown into mild confusion and temporary hysteria yesterday after a Welsh farmer attempted to check in his “emotional…
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Mass Exodus in Mayor Adams, Administration
Mass Exodus in Mayor Adams’ Administration: Deputy Mayors Flee Amid Scandal “When the ship starts sinking, even the rats are smart enough to jump off.” “When the ship starts sinking, even the rats are smart enough to jump off.” In a development that has left New York City’s political scene reeling, four of Mayor Eric…
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No Kings Day! Trump and Musk
No Kings Day’: Protesters Denounce Trump and Musk, Rejecting Billionaire Rulers on Presidents’ Day Protesters Denounce Trump and Musk, Rejecting Billionaire Rulers on Presidents Day/No Kings Day! “We fought a revolution to avoid this exact situation—so why does it feel like we live in a monarchy with Wi-Fi?” Across the United States, thousands of protesters…
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Nude Models Ordered to Wear Clothes?
Life-Drawing Class in Chaos as Nude Models Ordered to Wear Clothes? Chaos as Nude Models Ordered to Wear Clothes in Life-Drawing Class! “Artists left confused, models left overdressed, and critics left wondering—what exactly are we drawing now?” In a shocking turn of events that has rocked the North London art community, a long-standing life-drawing class…
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Cardiff Airport Border Officials Shocked
Cardiff Airport Border Officials Shocked as Man Arrives from Thailand with Suitcase Full of Fake Fluffy Animal Tails—All Featuring “Ominous” Attachments “A tale of tails no one saw coming.” In what is being described as one of the most baffling customs seizures in recent UK history, Cardiff Airport border officials were left utterly speechless when…
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Dutch Naturists Arrested in Yellowstone!
Dutch Naturists Arrested in Yellowstone! Dutch Naturists Arrested With a Bizarre Collection of Items. No Clothes, and a Very Large Container! “A new frontier in ‘back to nature’ living—or just a really bad camping trip?” Yellowstone National Park rangers have reported one of the most bizarre arrests in park history, after detaining two Dutch naturists…