This article blends satire with commentary on factual events. Verifiable claims are sourced; the satire is in the writing style.
Congratulations to the Oval Office, which is now a national monument, along with the Outer Oval Office and the Cabinet Room.
Most monuments let you in if you buy a ticket and don’t climb on anything. This one got off to a choosier start. CNN’s Kaitlan Collins said CNN was due to provide the shared TV pool for the signing, but the White House blocked it, leaving the five networks without audio or video of the remarks.
The White House’s rapid response account replied with a link to its own YouTube stream: “If only his remarks were broadcasted online, free to anyone who wanted them. Oh, wait.” In fairness, you could watch it. You just couldn’t ask it anything.
What Brian admires is that Collins simply said what happened, in three calm sentences. The same steadiness was there in February, when she asked about Epstein survivors and the President told her he’d never seen her smile. She went back to the question.
A judge blocked the White House ban on CNN, MS NOW and Politico last month, but that order doesn’t guarantee access to the Oval Office. So the monument can keep its guest list, for now.
Brian’s advice: always look on the bright side. The room is preserved, the reporter is unruffled, and the question will still be there tomorrow.
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